Child & Family Therapy Counselling | Information Articles

31 Jan

Parental Influence and Effects on Children

It is my professional opinion that children's views in general are influenced to a lesser or greater degree, by significant people and situations in their lives. Parental influence on children and young people's views and beliefs is inevitable. Parental influence is transferred to children through comments, conversations, actions and the relationship the parents have with each other. It becomes much more important for children of separated parents to become attuned to cues from their parents of what is acceptable, as children want to please parents. In situations where there may be conflict and antagonism in the separated parental relationship, the children try even harder toward learning ways of pleasing parent/s in the hope of maintaining parental peace. Many times, the pleasing of parent/s could come at a cost to the children's emotional, physical and social wellbeing. The result is children experiencing high levels of stress. Living in alternate households, in their daily interactions children would...

01:15 / Information Articles

31 Jan

Muscle Relaxation for Children

Adapted by Angela Ranallo from Dr J Irvine "who'd be a parent?" Hands and arms: get them to pretend to be squeezing an orange. When it's all squeezed out they let it drop and let their muscles relax. Arms and shoulders: get them to pretend they are a cuddly cat that's stretching, raising their arms high over their head, back to their side, out in front, up to the ceiling, and finally dropping down by their side. Shoulders: let them pretend they are a turtle sensing danger, pulling their head in tight into their shoulders, right up to their ears if they can. When the danger passes they relax and come back out into the warm sunshine. Jaw: let them pretend they have a hard caramel in their mouth. They bite down on it hard and then let their jaw relax. Repeat. Face and nose: let them pretend an annoying fly lands on their nose...

01:13 / Information Articles

31 Jan

Memories held in the body

THE BODY - Memories are held in the body (Richard Rose Life story Therapy with Traumatised Children) Triggers, often non verbal may cause physical reactions which is automatic and not associated with cognitive story-telling. Van der Kolk (1992) argues that trauma therapy has to involve the individual working with their 'body states', assisting a person's ability to regain calm. Levine (1997) argues that trauma is a biological response to a perceived and/or actual threat where the body is unable to discharge the experience physically and therefore the experience is locked within the body Kardiner and Spiegel 1947 'memory boxes' (often referred to as procedural memory) is held within the body. When children/adults are traumatised by the experience, whether as a direct or indirect experience, they store the memory, the reactions, the thoughts and the feelings. In effect the body as well the brain, become a storage facility of memory = 'a person-sized memory box' The body...

01:13 / Information Articles

31 Jan

Foster Placement Transition

Developmental implications "Children who have experienced abuse or neglect have a heightened need for permanency, security, and emotional constancy and are, therefore, at great risk because of the inconsistencies in their lives and the foster care system" "Multiple moves while in foster care...

00:53 / Information Articles

31 Jan

How to write and engage in Parallel Healing Stories

Parallel story telling/writing - have themes resonating with children's own life/situation. Through the process of the creative story-telling, there are pauses and reflections about the similarities to children's own life. This process enables children to give voice to his/her emotional vulnerability. This has the potential to be a healing process This process engages children's imagination and creativity as a resource for emotional and reflective expression, moving between the landscape of fantasy, landscape of reflection and landscape of reality. If you wish to know more about how to write and use Parallel Stories, please make contact with Angela Ranallo....

00:40 / Information Articles

31 Jan

Children relationship with separated parents

The parents usually indicate that they want the children to have a good relationship with the other parent. To achieve this, it would be helpful for the children to be encouraged by each parent to minimise any interest and involvement in the details of parental conflict and to focus on enjoying the time they have with the parent they are with at the time. In many ways it is easy for children to align themselves with one parent because this reduces their confusion. Ultimately it is better if they are assisted to focus on the fact that each parent loves them. It would also be helpful if each parent is able to clearly give the children permission to enjoy a relationship with the other parent so that they do not feel disloyal to one or the other. In situations where there is ongoing conflict and antagonism in the separated parental relationship what has the potential...

00:39 / Information Articles

31 Jan

WORKING FRAMEWORK with CHILDREN & YOUNG PEOPLE

Visual Diagram By Angela Ranallo (adapted from Johnella Bird) I am providing a visual diagram of the ways that I work, for people who, like me, may benefit from visuals to help in the understanding. Looking at the diagram, you will notice that there is a particular starting point. The reason for starting with children and young people's strengths is to begin fostering a sense of hope and confidence about tackling a problem. This is a framework that 'directs attention' to present- but- unexplored areas of the child/young person's life to obtain a much richer description of the child and young person, rather than having the problematic stories draw full attention. Problems have a way of having an effect on many areas of the child/young person's life and relationships: at school - possibly with teacher/s and peers; at home - with parent/s, carers, brothers/sisters etc. Only two areas are mentioned here, although...

00:21 / Information Articles

31 Jan

Children and Separation – General (Tip sheet for parent/s)

Story of when children were born to parents. If true, that children were born to parents because they loved each other and they wanted to have the children. What have children been told about the parents separation and what are the children understanding Children may experience Confusion Frightened Worries about mother and dad Think that it is his/her fault for parents separating Could get caught up into blaming one parent over the other (Loyalty dilemma) Can the child show both parents that she or he has happy times with both parents? Can the child show one parent that she or he misses the other parent? DRAWING Help the child with drawing the homes before and now, and people in the homes Worry - box Help children create a worry box for each home to place worries they may have. Every few days sit down and go through the children's and grownups worries. Happy- box for each home to place happy things, thoughts, etc. Repeat as...

00:19 / Information Articles

31 Jan

Children and Separation

Parental conflict and effects on children It has been my experience that for children, witnessing parental conflict and violence can be a traumatic experience having different effects, and creating conflict and contradictions in the emotional bond the child has with the parent/s. The child loves and dislikes the parent simultaneously. Subsequently, the child needs support in acknowledging the emotional conflict that s/he may be experiencing so that the child is able to hold on to the love for the parent, while maintain a regard for respectful relations. Support may be provided through some short term counselling where the child is helped with managing the emotional conflict. Negative comments about the 'other parent' What has the potential of being very damaging for the children emotional development is to hear the non resident parent been talked about and referred to in negative ways by the resident parent. Children in so many ways make it clear...

00:18 / Information Articles

Child & Family Therapy Counselling Service is an independent counselling and family therapy centre operated by Angela Ranallo, a qualified Clinical Social Worker, Child & Family Therapist and accredited Mental Health Social Worker specialising in Children and Young People Counselling - Parenting Support and Family Counselling - Relationships & Couples Counselling - Adult Mental Health - Trauma Therapy and Clinical Supervision and Training.

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