Talking about Abuse

- (Reference from an Interview with Michael White 1995 'Naming Abuse and Breaking from its Effects') "…How amazingly great it can feel to gently and lovingly touch the skin of or otherwise get close to someone who wants to be close with us…[however], there continues to be so much of these other kinds of damaging touching. So much violent, violating and insensitive touching…" "…One of the scariest effects of Abuse can have is to blur our vision of what good contact looks like. The effects on discernment, the way experiences of Abuse can leave behind a legacy of not noticing abuse may be the most insidious of this problem's effects. When we lose touch with our ways of telling apart different kinds of experiences, we are extremely vulnerable "…There is lots of evidence to support the idea that this vulnerability is born of difficulties in the area of discernment - difficulties in distinguishing abuse from...

Relationship with Self and Others

BLOCKS that get in the way of preferred relationships with SELF and Others Some examples: INJURIOUS (Harmful) CONVERSATIONAL HABITS self-surveillance/audience A step towards undoing these debilitating internalised conversations is to begin NOTICING THE TALK, CONTENT, and EFFECTS OF THE DIALOGUE In order for a problem to survive and be very successful it must recruit a dialogic (conversational) audience of support. The habit of self-surveillance/audience make us believe that we are psychic - that we know another's -ve thoughts about us (I think that you think that I think that you think that I am a bad person) without actually speaking to them. illegitimacy Experiences of less-than-worthy citizens, parents, children, workers, partners etc Persons who feel illegitimate, unworthy, and fraudulent: The child who has been violated sexually, the employee who feels left out; the gay person who is forced to hide his/her identity; new mother who sees herself as selfish; the shy person who is afraid to speak, The habit...

Relationship with Self and Others

Who I am explore the uniqueness and meaning of experiences in being a woman explore the Self we express to the world and the Self we may (or dare) express to our self explore the relationship we as women have with our body/our sexuality The various relationships with Self and Others Exploring relationships with self mirroring relationship with others? Every relationship tells something about who we are Revising relationships & Exploring different possibilities for who we are and/or who we may be Styles of Relating Reflect on own style/s of relating What benefits might there be What pitfalls might there be How does it feel physically? How does it feel emotionally? What are some family, cultural social beliefs and messages about how to be in relationships? Blocks that can potentially get in the way of preferred relationships with Self and Others Examples: Perfectionism Anger Self Esteem Shame Other? If you wish to know more, please contact Angela Ranallo...

Relationship with Self and Others by Angela Ranallo

Recovering from Trauma and Abuse

Experiences of abuse and violence have the potential of creating doubts and disqualify a person's own beliefs about who s/he is as a person and of their capabilities. It increases guilt, shame and sense of worthlessness. It creates vulnerability for people to more easily get recruited into negative stories about their identity. Trauma affects the capacity to recall and integrate the fullness of experiences encompassing sensations, images, behaviour, emotions and meaning making. It can bring about a disconnection between different aspects of self. Although some trauma memories may not be remembered, they may be sensed or felt in the body as sensations, as somatic pain; as skin rashes/eczema or affect body co-ordination; hypersensitivity to sensory stimuli such visual, auditory, smell, taste. When trauma memories get triggered there is the potential of the trauma getting replayed in 'the -here-and now' in people's lives bringing about a fragmentation of self at that point. Trauma...

Potential Effects of Experience of Abuse

The visual diagram below shows examples of the areas of living potentially affected by experiences of abuse. Diagram - 2 EXPLORATION OF SEXUALITY & SELF IDENTITY IN THE CONTEXT OF SEXUAL ABUSE Adapted by Angela Ranallo 2005 from Allan Jenkins and Johnella Bird Experiences of abuse and violence have the potential of creating doubts and disqualify a person's own beliefs about who s/he is as a person and of their capabilities. It increases guilt, shame and sense of worthlessness. It creates vulnerability for people to more easily get recruited into negative stories about their identity. If you wish to have more information please make contact...